Helmsmanship

Sixties super spy Matt Helm is making a comeback with the aid of daughter Jade.

Operation Jade Helm is underway across eight states including Texas, where many of the tall hat manly men are soiling themselves. This is a military training exercise that has been on the planning books and known about for quite sometime. The training will take place on Federal property and some private, with permission. There are Texans, egged on by their own Governor, that actually believe this is an invasion and prelude to Marshall law. This in spite of the fact that American military officers have appeared at numerous Town Hall meetings to explain the training. Some of these officers have had their honor insulted by dimmer bulbs in attendance. Governor Scaremonger has ordered the national guard to keep an eye on things. Really? Who does Scaremonger believe people in olive uniforms ultimately answer to?

Military training has occurred on our own soil since the Revolution. Where do you think they train? Perhaps in Russia or China? We have bases all over this country including 45,000 soldiers in Texas, so there you have it Texas is all ready occupied. What are you so concerned about? Now, I'm not suggesting that just because you're paranoid doesn't mean someone's not out to get you but give some thought to your delusions. Has there been a rash of unexplained anal probing? Cause that's the first sign of invasion.

The government can come for us anytime it wants and it won't send advance notice of impending doom. They usually don't do anything too devastating. When I was a janitor at Area 51 I would often lose days at a time in complete blackouts, but it had no lasting effect, effect, effect, effect, effect, effect...........